Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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