You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize