I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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