All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He felt like a one man threesome
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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