Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
