I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
