Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
