He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
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He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
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This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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