his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
