He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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