Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
