ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
