Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
