It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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