dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
