i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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