Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
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I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
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I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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