so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
