It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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