Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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