HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize