Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
