I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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