You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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