My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
