It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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