She's JV to your varsity
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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