the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
