I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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