Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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