Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
