Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
