I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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