FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
birth control should be required to get into college
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize