you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
