In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
