She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
