I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
