I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
