Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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