I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
