First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Randomize