I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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