Michael Bay diarrhea
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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