Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
