I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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