is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize