Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i will never coherently bang her
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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