Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
