we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
