I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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