cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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