Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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