look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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